A long, long time ago, young copywriters all across Mad Land* were paid to peddle an exciting new sensation called “ice beer.” It was part of an odd trend. The Micropocalypse was bubbling under, so Big Brew began to proffer novel product extensions to bolster the drinking public’s perceived freedom of choice.

So we got “clear beer,” “ice beer,” and “beer zero.” People saw through clear beer almost immediately, and beer zero probably didn’t actually exist (although it really should have). But ice beer was a hit—at least for a time.

Big Brew explained why ice beer was dramatically different than normal beer. It involved freezing something or other during the brewing process. Some of the young copywriters valiantly tried to explain all this, but the details remained stubbornly out of focus.

Years have passed. Things have changed. My drinking days are mostly behind me. But one thing remains clear: given the choice between a bottle of ice beer and a tray of ice cubes, young copywriters will opt for the beer any night of the week.